Sunday, April 17, 2016

The "YES!" that led to #6

This is the story of how one leap of faith...One giant "YES" lead to our 6th child... After the heartbreak of a failed adoption, I remember telling Obie, "I wish T had never picked us." I was hurt and just wished it had never happened. But this time was different. This time I felt like WE picked "A."  We truly appreciate all the kind words that followed our failed adoption, and we've gotten a lot of questions about our newest addition, so here is the story of our happy ending.  Although, I wouldn't really consider this the ending...more like the beginning... ;) 


Fri, Apr. 1, 2016 - I'm sitting in the car waiting to pick up our youngest son from preschool, when I get a call from K, the matching coordinator at our agency. She proceeded to describe a situation that she said was "perfect" for us involving expectant mom, A. Again, the expectant mom had received no prenatal care, so again there were many unknowns. I listened, guarded but interested. It had been less than 2 weeks since our first failed adoption. Could we really put ourselves through it again??? I said we'd give her answer in 1 hour...that "1 hour" turned into 10...

Oh, and did I mention A was scheduled to have a c-section THE VERY NEXT DAY?!?!?

I called my mom in tears. I felt scared. Scared to say "yes" and scared to say "no." What if this was meant to be our son or daughter and we turned away?  Obie & I discussed it and doubts ran through our heads. As we thought about all of the reasons to say "no," a few began to sound eerily familiar... A lot like the ones I had used when I became pregnant with our first son, Blake, and considered termination...
  • Bad timing
  • It's just too soon
  • We would inconvenience everyone  (Again!!!)  
I thought back to other times when babies came at the "wrong" time. When I was born, my mom was unemployed and my dad was laid off. When our first was born, I was a poor, unmarried teenager. And despite those circumstances, I'm so grateful for my life & Blake's.

And, if we said "no," I knew we'd always wonder... What eventually happened? Was the baby a boy or girl? Was he/she healthy? Did his/her mom follow through with her adoption plan? What type of a family did the baby go to?  

Most importantly, how hypocritical would it be of us to say "no," when we JUST said how much we trusted God's plan for our family??? We totally trust God's timing, UNLESS it interferes with OUR timing. We totally trust God's plan, UNLESS it screws up OUR schedule....  No, either we trust Him or we don't.

Now there were two major hurdles:
1) Would my parents watch the kids again? and
2) What about Obie's work schedule?  He can't just go taking off work whenever he feels like it! And he JUST did take time off work for our last adoption. Plus, the following week was a travel week!  He was supposed to be out of the state for at least 3 days!!!

But God moved mountains. We asked my mother to watch the kids again, and she said "yes." THANK YOU, MOM!!!  And Obie, amazingly, was able to change his schedule. THANK YOU, OBIE!!! He wouldn't be with me the entire time, but he would be there for a few days and that was enough.  We said "YES."  It felt like jumping off a cliff, people! A total leap of faith!

Sat, Apr. 2 - It's morning. My parents just arrived. We're all packed & getting ready to go when I get a text from our agency. The c-section has been cancelled. We aren't allowed to know the details because of doctor-patient confidentiality rules, but it's rescheduled for Saturday.  My parents go home, and we spend a relaxing weekend at home with the kiddos.

Mon, Apr. 4 - Morning again, kids are taken to school, my mom arrives, and we're off! We make the nearly 5 hour drive to a city in Ohio and meet L & B, agency staff members, and E, the state social worker. A says she wants to see us as soon as we get there, so we go up and are literally on the other side of her room door, but there's a nurse in there prepping her for surgery. While we're waiting, the charge nurse and hospital social worker take us into another room and discuss the hospital's adoption policies. Now it's too late to see A, so I pull up a picture of Obie & I on my phone and the charge nurse takes it in for her to see.  Then we wait for over an hour in the waiting room, thinking she was having a baby... The state social worker comes out with a frustrated expression. Nope. No baby. At least not today. Again, we're not allowed to know the details, but apparently she was totally ready for surgery when the obgyn came in and said today is not the day. The c-section is tentatively re-scheduled for Wednesday. It's now been cancelled twice with no end in sight.  We all go home. We make the 5 hour drive back, and the agency workers, who have been there since Friday, fly back to Utah.

Tues, Apr. 5 & Wed, Apr. 6 - Radio silence. Seriously. Nothing. I get a sliver of info from the state social worker, saying A probably won't contact anyone unless she's admitted to the hospital...so we assume no baby is being born today.

Thurs, Apr. 7 - I wake up today feeling a little crazy - I just want to know SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  Even if the answer is no, even if she changed her mind, please God, please let A contact someone!!!  Was she just going to stop responding? Disappear? Go MIA? Was this going to be failed adoption #2???  The uncertainty was killing me!
           But my prayers were answered - and then some!!!  A told the state social worker that she was at the hospital and at 1:11 pm we got the most amazing text: "Baby is here!" We were over-joyed!!  Later in the day something else amazing happened - I had a text conversation with A!!! And it was wonderful! So positive and affirming! My doubts faded. I went to bed that night with a heart full of joy & a smile on my face!

Fri, Apr. 8 - The state social worker & attorney visited A in the hospital. They told us A was doing great & we were "doing everything right." :) I spent the entire morning trying to find us an attorney. I had purposely put off doing this, just in case, but the state social worker said she needed a name asap & I found a great one! A & I speak more via text. We even discuss names.  I'm getting excited - still super tense - but optimistic that things are going to work out. We're making plans for the future...

Sat, Apr. 9 - A & I text a little today. We try to stay busy, doing normal Saturday chores and attending evening mass. After learning baby is a little bigger than expected, I sort through & clean some bigger clothes. Signing is scheduled for 4 pm on Sunday night. Then, Obie & I are scheduled at 5:30 pm. Last time I begged God, Please let her sign!  But this time was different. This time I prayed for peace. Peace for A - that she's confident in her decision. Peace for us - that we find acceptance in whatever she decides. I go to bed feeling calm.

Sun, Apr. 10 - Today's the day. So many futures are potentially about to change... I text A to let her know we're thinking & praying for her everyday, but especially today. We leave around 12:30 pm for the long drive. Four pm comes...then 4:30...then 5...Obie & I speculate, If she changed her mind, we would know by now, right? Since it's been so long, they MUST be going over paperwork, right?!?!  At 5:02 pm I'm about to text the state social worker, when she texts me: "She signed..."!!!  PTL!!! Joy & relief flood over us!!!  We make it to the hospital and meet the state social worker. They wheel out our precious baby boy and we see him for the first time. Tears. Joy. Amazement. I hold him as we sign our papers. Welcome baby DK!!!!

First pic!
My turn to sign
We head to our hotel with our sweet baby boy to await ICPC approval. We can't take DK out of Ohio until we are approved by both OH and IN. It could be up to 2 weeks!

First car ride & first hotel stay :)
Tues, Apr 12 - Obie heads back to IN to be with our other kiddos, so it's just DK & me chillin' in a Homewood Suites in OH.  I don't even have a car!!! Thankfully, Ob stocked me up with groceries before he left. :) Plus, the state social worker, my sister's MIL, & pretty much everyone I meet at the hotel has offered to help me if I need it.  And how neat is it that we ended up so close to my sister's in-laws?

Wed, Apr 13 - OH approval!  Now it's Indiana's turn...


Thurs, Apr 14 - IN approval! WHAAA?!?! We
 were told to prepare for 2 weeks & we're approved  to go home today?? After only a few days?!?  How awesome is that?!?!?  At 7 pm we're home!!!! PTL!!!  Greeted by family & neighbors, I'm so happy to be here!!  Ready to start the adventures as a family of 8!!!

We're so thankful that we said "YES." It was truly meant to be. We will continue to pray for A's peace, comfort, & healing everyday. The process wasn't always a walk in the park, but God didn't put this desire to adopt in our hearts & tell us it would be without struggle. He didn't say, Adopt! But, ya know, only if it's easy... It was bumpy - emotional- messy - sometimes painful & confusing - sometimes full of frustration & unknowns. But so worth it! And we have learned that we are strong. We are confident. We are faithful. We are grateful. We are so blessed. And we trust in Him.

-Becky